Peace Is Chosen, Not Permitted

The lies we tell reveal a great deal about us.  

Roughly twenty years ago there was an infamous chain email about Mr. Rogers.  Perhaps it was even older - many of those early chain emails began as chain letters - but the first I saw was via email in the late 1990s or early 2000s.  

This email was easily debunked, and yet it was shared by a whole lot of people.  Many believed it wholeheartedly.

This debunked email claimed that Mr. Rogers was a former special forces operator who had killed many enemy soldiers.  Some versions said it was Vietnam; others, Korea.  His body count changed periodically.

And it wasn't even remotely true.  Mr. Rogers was never in the military, let alone the special forces.  

But the gleeful ease with which the story was accepted is truly fascinating.  

Keep in mind that it came not long after Mr. Rogers had been bashed by the neocon right.  

They hated his message that we were all special in some way, and that we all had value as human beings no matter what we would go on to accomplish.  

In their view, Mr. Rogers was building a nation of... insert any of several "p" words here.  

Enter the chain email.  Mr. Rogers was more badass than you.  He's John McClane and Wyatt Earp all rolled into one.  His testosterone is untouchable; his macho bona fides fulfilled.  And so he has permission to choose peace.  He has our approval to be sweet, kind, and gentle.

Except it was all a lie.  

Now, was it a purposeful attempt to respond to the neocons by rebranding Mr. Rogers?  Doubtful.  History is rarely so linear.  But if it was such an attempt, it was misguided.  

It is far more likely that it was just a prank.  This is especially likely in light of similar urban legends about other soft-spoken celebrities like John Denver (which also goes to reiterate what I'm about to say).  But joke or not, it resonated with many.

My fascination, however, is with how it fits a broader narrative about humility and pacifism:

We act as though pacifists need permission.  We act as though a peaceful demeanor must be earned through blood and sacrifice. 

Oh, so you've killed 20 enemy soldiers and their deaths lay heavily on your conscience?  Okay, you've earned your pacifism.  Go with our blessing, gentle soul, and live in the woods alone contemplating the horrors of war you've personally experienced.  You no longer need to hurt people or animals to be a man.

And you there, you say you're a 5th dan black belt capable of beating your enemy to a pulp with your bare hands, but you don't actually do that outside the ring?  You, sir, can be a man of peace. 

But you?  Yeah, you over there in the corner - the quiet one who was raised since birth to be peaceful or meek, and to show humility, and turn the other cheek.  You're just a wimp.  Or one of those "p" words again.

We act as though you can't be horrified by violence unless you were first the aggressor, at least capable of being the aggressor.  

So what if you were an innocent bystander in the school when someone shot the place up.  Suck it up, and get back to class.  The world is a violent place, and you need to get used to it.

But you, sir, you have a Purple Heart?  You have our permission to cry sometimes.

In other words, we seem to think that meekness must be earned, and that it's only a good thing when it's a revocable option.  As though choosing a peaceful response is only a virtue when you're packing heat.  

Because apparently, choosing not to use your gun is heroic, but choosing never to carry one is a sign of cowardice.  

But peace doesn't need permission.  Peacefulness and pacifism don't require sign off from the most violent in the room.  If they did, what would be the point?

And we sure as hell don't need approval from the fake Christians who want to shoot anyone from theives to murderers to undocumented immigrants despite clear instruction from their God not to fight back under any circumstances.  

I quote the book of Matthew a lot, but it bears much repeating loudly and confidently:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

I don't see a single word in there about asking permission.  It doesn't address itself solely to ex-warriors trying to soothe their consciences.  In fact, the very idea that a peaceful demeanor only legitimately belongs to the formerly violent is just another form of toxic machismo.

This shit couldn't be any clearer.  

Peace isn't earned.  Peace isn't permitted.

Peace is chosen.  Without apology.

It's a choice we make every day.  And it's a difficult one, which has been getting harder every day.  But then, most worthwhile things are.  

Go in peace.  
De-escalate when needed.  
That means everyone.  
Don't ask permission to be peaceful.  

You don't need to earn it.  

Choose it.  

Or, here's another way to say it:

Lead with peace.