The Case For Facebook Courage

I'm sure we've all seen the meme - a black and white photo of one kid punching another, and the caption: "Back in the day when you couldn't hide behind a computer screen."

And it makes sense to some degree. Anonymity can make you feel empowered to say some pretty heinous shit.

But here's the part that's never said:

What if the kid getting punched was in the right?

Turns out, "tough guys" who like to get in fights can say some pretty heinous shit too. And the decent folks among us have to make a choice: take a beating (maybe involving grievous bodily injury, or death), or stay quiet.

It's a choice I've had to make many, many times. I've heard some pretty horrific shit in locker rooms and bars. Like the off-duty special forces guys (at least, that's what they claimed, and their physique and bearing backed it up) who were stone drunk at 10am and talking about how everyone who wasn't a white christian hetero American deserved to be killed, right before they assaulted the waitress (direct quote: "Get over here and give me a hug, or I'll fucking kill you"). Four of them; one of me. Hell, one of them with his arms tied behind his back would have been more than a match for me.

Or the guy on the junior high bus screaming racial epithets at the only black girl in the school. He'd roughed me up before without straining a muscle. Must I take another beating?

But online... your strength means nothing. Your guns mean nothing. Your willingness to punch me in the face means nothing.

My voice is as loud as yours.

And you have to deal with it.

I'm afraid of grievous bodily harm. You're afraid of ideas and your own feelings. Be honest: who's the real snowflake here?

Following a bloody weekend of three mass shootings, one of the many refrains I heard is that these shooters had no coping mechanism.

I believe it. When confronted with ideas that make them uncomfortable, their only resort is to punch it or shoot it and make the source of the hurting go away. Never to confront what it was that made them feel bad in the first place.

But society doesn't reward that punching like it used to, and the internet takes it away as an option.

Now the bullies of the world are forced to do what the rest of us have had to do all along:

Deal with it.

Someone made you mad? Get over it.

Someone made you uncomfortable? Live with it.

Want everyone to agree with you without question or argument? Keep your mouth shut.

The meme implies that we should go back to the simpler bygone ways of punching each other out over this stuff. You know, might makes right.

So... should I start working out, and go to UFC classes so I can finally have an opinion? Should I buy more guns than you, and hope I can draw them faster than you can, ye rascally varmint?

Nah. Fuck that.

I'd rather we all just grow a pair and learn to deal with our feelings.

I can handle it. Can you?

Just kidding. That's just too darn scary for you, isn't it Mr. Tough Guy?

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